Have you ever been out walking your dog and felt the weight of someone's disapproving stare? Or perhaps you've looked at someone and thought, "Why on earth are they doing that with their dog?" Go on, admit it. We've all been there, on both sides of the judgement fence.
As a dog trainer, I've experienced my fair share of criticism. It's got me wondering - why are we so quick to judge other dog owners?
We’re not perfect. Our dogs aren’t perfect.
So why do we expect perfection from everyone else? Life with our furry friends has its ups and downs, and we often face situations that test our confidence and patience. It's easy to see a snapshot of someone else's experience and jump to conclusions. But we rarely, if ever, know the whole story.
My judgement stories
Take my own experience, for instance. I once posted a photo of my dogs on long leads at the beach, prompting comments about how they'd have more fun off-lead. What the photo didn't show was:
- the hundreds of jellyfish scattered across the sand
- the busy families enjoying their day out
- the horses galloping up and down the shoreline
- my daughter's anxiety about the dogs being off lead in public.
There were many good reasons for my choice that day, but none of them were visible in that single snapshot.
And that’s not all. I've been judged for having a "fat" dog (he's actually a traditional show Labrador with a genetic condition) and even for filming training videos in an enclosed space (i.e. the responsible thing to do). So I know first-hand how easy it is to make assumptions without knowing the full picture.
So what can we do to break this cycle of judgement?
Here are a few thoughts:
- Pause before you judge. Ask yourself, "What else could be going on here that I can't see?" Instead of judging, maybe you could offer support.
- Remember - every dog and their owner are unique. What works for you might not work for them.
- Focus on your own journey with your dog. You're doing the best you can - and so is everyone else.
- The decisions you make for your dog are personal. If you feel judged, remind yourself that other people's opinions don't define your relationship with your dog. What matters is that you’re both happy and healthy.
- Be kind to yourself and others. We're all learning and growing as dog owners. We’re all on a dog-parenting journey so let’s keep it positive.
Let’s build each other up
The next time you're out with your dog and spot someone doing something you don't understand, try to view the situation with curiosity rather than criticism. Who knows? You might learn something new or make a new doggy friend in the process.
Shall we make a pact to enjoy our walks judgement-free from now on? Life’s too short and your dog too wonderful to waste your time worrying about what others think.
Need a friendly ear?
Remember, you're not alone. Our friendly Facebook community is here, ready to share their dog parenting advice and stories with you. Join us, and let's celebrate the joys (and tackle the pains) of dog ownership together.
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