Time and again in my work with dog parents, I see common areas where we humans quite often get it a bit wrong. This isn't meant to be a negative moan - I promise! It’s five concepts that, once understood, can absolutely revolutionise how you work with your dog.
1. Focusing Too Much on "Obedience" Rather Than Having Fun
I honestly can't stand the word "obedience." It conjures up images of dogs being forced to behave 110% perfectly all the time, which is unfair, unachievable and frankly unreasonable.
Yes, there are essential skills we want our dogs to learn but we cannot expect them to be little robots without their own thoughts and emotions. How about shifting our focus to having more fun together?
Think about it from a human perspective. We learn better when we're enjoying ourselves, don't we? When children learn through play, arts or PE, they're actually developing skills that transfer to academic subjects. The same applies to our dogs.
When you teach your dog a silly trick like "high five," you might think it serves no practical purpose - and realistically, it doesn't. But what you're actually doing is breaking down tasks, building a relationship, teaching problem-solving and adding another tool to your toolbox. That connection and those learning skills transfer brilliantly to lead work, recall and all those "essential" behaviours.
So try focussing 80% on fun and just 20% on training basics. I promise you'll have more success and an easier dog training journey.
2. Thinking Training is Something We Do TO Our Dogs Rather Than WITH Them
So many dog owners ask me: "How do I get my dog to behave?" "How do I get them to do this?" - as if training is something we impose on our dogs rather than something we do together.
Training isn't about dropping your dog off somewhere, having someone teach them skills and then picking up a perfectly trained pooch. It's about you and your dog working as a team to form a strong relationship and improve your communication channels.
Yes, your dog needs to understand you. But more importantly, YOU need to learn to understand THEM. Most people need to become better at reading what their dog is telling them.
Training should feel like a fun hobby that you both enjoy, not a necessary chore to make your dog "behave better." When approached this way, it becomes quality time spent together rather than a correction session.
3. Assuming Your Dog Must Make All the Changes
You and your dog are a partnership and like any healthy relationship, it can't be one-sided. We cannot expect our dogs to change everything while we make minimal effort. That's simply not fair.
Take reactive dogs, for example. You might think, "My dog needs to stop barking at other dogs," without considering what YOU need to change to help them succeed. Perhaps you need to adjust your walking routes, change how you reward them or simply set more achievable expectations.
I think part of the issue is that we live in an age of instant gratification. Need something? Amazon delivers it the same day. Want to see photos? They're instantly on your phone – no more waiting a week for film development (yes, younger readers, that was a thing). We want everything NOW and we bring that expectation to dog training.
But dog training doesn't work that way. It requires patience, consistent effort and realistic expectations. I didn't let Fred off lead in public until he was nearly two years old. Instead of focussing solely on that end goal, I set achievable steps along the way and put in plenty of hard work myself.
It's about teamwork. You can't expect your dog to do all the changing. You need to take responsibility for your half of the relationship.
4. Forgetting to Channel Your Dog's Natural Abilities
No matter how much you love them, dogs are still dogs, not “fur babies”. We've brought them into our human world and while there's nothing wrong with fancy dog outfits or Instagram accounts (if your dog enjoys it), we must remember they have natural canine needs.
If a dog is never allowed to be a dog, they can't fulfil what their bodies and brains need, which leads to problems. So many "behaviour issues" simply stem from dogs not having natural opportunities to be dogs.
What does being a dog mean? Sniffing to their heart's content, following scents, chasing, running, and yes, even the occasional crotch-sniff (it's how they communicate – nothing rude about it in dog language!).
Two of my three dogs rarely go on lead as we do most of our walks in spaces where they can safely be off lead. They get to sniff, wander at their own pace and choose their direction. Yes, there are boundaries. But within them, they get to be dogs.
Instead of always trying to suppress natural behaviours, find ways to channel them appropriately. If your dog loves to chase, don't just put them on a lead – provide safe, controlled opportunities to chase toys instead. If they pick up your slipper (Dave's been carrying slippers around since the day he came home), understand it's in his DNA as a Labrador to carry things!
Sometimes the simplest walks are the best. Put your dog on a long line in the woods and let them explore while you trundle along behind. I’ll be your best walk ever - calming, relaxing and your dog will be happily exhausted afterwards.
5. Setting your dog up to fail
We rarely do this intentionally but if your dog struggles with something, why keep putting them in situations where they'll get it wrong?
For example, if your dog reacts to cyclists, walking them along a busy cycle path means they'll practice that unwanted behaviour 20 times in one walk. Instead, why not choose a different route where they can have a calm, reaction-free walk? Everyone's stress levels will be lower and no cyclists will get a fright.
It's like complaining that your child keeps drawing on walls when you leave permanent markers within reach. If you don’t want them to do it, provide washable crayons and paper, i.e. an outlet for the behaviour in an appropriate way.
With reactive dogs, maybe walk on the other side of a fence, 20 metres away, where they can see bikes but not react. For a dog with separation anxiety, don't just keep leaving them alone hoping it'll magically improve. For door-dashing dogs, consider a stair gate rather than repeatedly telling them to sit (which clearly isn't working).
The key is to set your dog up for success. Small successes build confidence and progress.
On our recent staff outing to pottery painting, Tash (who isn't naturally creative) chose a burger design that was essentially "paint by numbers" rather than a blank plate. She set herself up to succeed within her capabilities and ended up enjoying the experience! Why not give your dog the same consideration?
So there you have it, five areas where a slight shift in mindset can make all the difference. Remember that it’s not about perfection but progress. Focus on having fun together, work as a team, be willing to make changes yourself, let your dog be a dog and set them up for success. It’ll make a world of difference for you and your dog!
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